Sweet Pandemonium

These are a Few of My Favorites

2009-01-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

I have come to accept that the only chance I have to blog on more of a regular basis (than every nine months) is to a) steal other people's blogging material, b) post things that I am asked to (ie video of grandchildren doing cute things), or c) simply tell the details of each day's events (I would rather swallow gasoline). So...the last two things I have posted have been by request. Today, I will steal blogging material from a few of my friends and post my favorite pictures of 2008.

#1 A Valentines' picture of Gigi...the sweetness of her face in this picture just gets me.

#2 I don't know if it is the fresh spring colors of the dresses, the oversized flowers and bow in their hair, or the poses that make these my Easter favorites.

#3 It's the eyes, the chubby cheeks full of birthday cake, those colors again, and the fact that I can't believe how fast her first year went...

#4 Payton's Kindergarten Graduation...a monumental year for her, whereby she completed her first official year of schooling and GREW so much...academically, personally, relationally, and physically

#5 Sweet baby chubs in a swimming suit was more than I could take. Her thighs were...well explosive. :)

#6 This picture has Gigi written all over it...the girl's excitement for things (in this case fireworks) makes life richer.

#7 I stepped out in July...with a "fast" hair style that was...livin' on the edge? and maybe trying too hard?...As Bill put it, "With that hairdo and your 'AE' garb, you may as well go back to high school."

#8 I love these birthday pictures...notice Audrey's excitement and expressions as Payton opened her gifts.

#9 Obviously I am well aware that the chances of Jackson and Payton actually marrying one day are slim...but one can hope...and sing "One Boy and One Girl" in her head while she watches them walk through a field together, right?

#10 Watching Josh on the ranch in La Veta with his girls is sweet like nothing else...the girls were in this machine cutting hay with him for four hours! one afternoon this past summer.

#11 While wondering naked between the playroom where Payton and Audrey were playing Barbies and family room, Reese climbed up on the ottoman...at which point I was able to see that she had a Barbie shoe stuck between her 'cheeks'. It is a terrible picture because I had little time to get the camera ready and because I was laughing hysterically while taking it.

#12 favorite Halloween pics...

#13 sweet cousin pics...

#14 the 'tornado' that caused quite a commotion in the neighborhood this fall

#15 favorite Disney picture from our trip in October...

a changed heart and an amateur attempt at poetry

2008-12-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

I was given the opportunity to share a devotional at a friend's baby shower tonight. She just had her second girl...a perfect chance for me to share what I love about having girls. Anyway, I was asked to post the poem I wrote for the conclusion...so here it is. Man...with two recent posts I should be good until at least March.

Though having all girls was not at first my first choice,

God has graciously given me many reasons to rejoice.

There is something divine about having all girls...

From play rooms with kitchens, dress-up and dolls

to dreaming of days arm-in-arm at the malls.

I love that with Daddy they build fence and mow,

and to the park with pink ball gloves and bats they all go.

I love having the excuse to buy adorable clothes

knowing each one will wear them as the other girls grows.

I love being at Disneyland and standing in only one line,

as the princesses are all that we have to find.

I love when they all dance and play house and color.

It would have to be more balanced if they had a brother.

Of course there is emotion and drama to spare

and extra time spent every morning on hair.

But with those come in-home slumber parties of three

with nightgowns, nail polish, and small cups of tea

and giggles and squeals and lots of affection

coordinating Christmas dresses and a great purse collection!

I love that one day they will all have each other

to stand beside at their weddings and watch each become mothers.

I love having all girls...I truly do.

and to God who chose this for me, I simply say, "Thank you."

Honestly...and by the way, how do you rotate videos?

2008-12-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

So this is why...

2008-06-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Exhibit A: Reese fell down the stairs last week...every single one of them. Payton came running out of her room when I ran down to pick her up. In the aftermath, when we were discussing what had happened, Payton said she saw Reese fall. Then she put her hand to her heart with tears in her eyes and said, "That was the worst feeling!"

Exhibit B: Payton rode her bike with Audrey down to Lilly's house the other day. Jackson was at a birthday party, so she came back 10 minutes later...in tears. My first assumption was that her feelings were hurt because either Lilly and Audrey did not want to play with her or Jackson wasn't available to play. While I was trying to figure out why she was crying, she kept saying, "I feel so bad for Audrey." After she settled down, and we talked more about it, we concluded that Payton was hurting for Audrey because she thought Audrey did not want her to leave Lilly's and that Audrey was in tears when she said, "goodbye" to Payton.

Exhibit C: Payton took a major digger on her bike today, and scraped up her knee and elbow pretty bad. While I was in the process of comforting her and doctoring her wounds, Audrey dumped the contents of her purse out on the kitchen floor (all fifty items). Sifting through barrettes, fruit snack wrappers, head bands, old cell phones, and expired credit cards, she said, "Is there anything in here that will make Payton feel better?"

Exhibit D: While bathing Payton tonight to try and get her wounds clean, she was screaming at the top of her lungs because it hurt so bad to get them wet. I was trying to clean her knee and comfort her at the same time. I turned around to see Audrey sitting on the stool crying while she watched it all happen.

So this is why...you have more than one child. Why you don't panic that they fight more than they play in this stage. Why you encourage them to be connected, stick together, and look out for each other. Why you look for opportunities to point out how much each of them actually does love the other. Why you remind them that friends will come and go in their lives, but sisters will be there always. Why you know they will more than likely one day turn to each other even before they turn to you. Why they will probably have the most childhood memories of the times with each other. Why you can look into the future and see them standing up at each other's weddings and holding each other's babies. Why you know with complete assurance that even if they have been at each other's throats all day long, when the rubber meets the road, they will have "each other's backs." There is a bond between siblings that is true, deep, complex...and sweet as all get out.

I guess knew this...I too have someone...a blonde-haired boy who has always had my back and I his. I remember jumping on the back of an older kid who was sitting on my brother and hitting him at the park near our house. I beat that big kid with my shoes with everything in me until he stopped. I remember crying myself to sleep at night in high school because he was in such an awkward and lonely stage. I remember flying out to Arkansas for his birthday his freshman year in college because he was so homesick, and I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting like that.

I remember him taking on my punishment with me as a little girl just so I wasn't alone. I remember his anger when I was hurt by a boyfriend. I remember him crying on the phone with me in college because I was struggling so much with confidence. He was thousands of miles away and yet right there. I remember time after time walking away from a conversation with him and thinking, "He is my biggest fan." So much has changed, and yet nothing really has. That bond is still true, deep, complex, and sweet as all get out.

Praise you Lord that I have the connection with my brother to look to...despite the knock down drag out fights we have had...we have a bond that is unlike any other. Help me to remember these windows in my girls' lives when they show such tenderness for each other and take heart. I pray that they continue to grow in their love for each other and that their hearts will always be soft towards one another. That they will always know that someone has their back... and thank you for giving me Bill. I sure love him...despite the fact that he slapped me in the face when I beat him at a card game...in college.

Much to Say

2008-06-15T20:18:00.000-07:00

The Top 10 most Exciting Things that Have Happened to the Brgochs in the past Two Months:

1. We moved!

We are now full-time residents of Parker, CO...We LOVE our new home, the neighborhood, our neighbors, living close to friends, and being across the street from the elementary school Payton will attend in September.

My favorite things about the house you ask? the windows (I am a natural light junky), that the girls have a playroom on the main level, the breakfast bar we sit at ALL the time, the privacy of the dining room, the pantry large enough to accommodate an average sized elephant, the extra space for bikes, strollers, push carts, flower pots, the lawn mower, mice (can't even talk about it), the sizes of the bedrooms, and how well the floor plan works for entertaining and ministry. We praise God because there is a fullness of joy in the assurance that despite any misgiving we had about the house, for this season, we are right where we are supposed to be.

2. Reese turned one...and is walking...and 'talking', and...drinking beer (I believe the can says expiration 2004...how pray tell did it make the move?).

To see those thighs walking...let me tell you it makes my heart smile. She is operating on a 10-15 word vocabulary...our favorite is "pitty" which is what she says when she puts my necklaces and her sisters' headbands on.

3. Payton graduated from kindergarten.

With a little pomp and circumstance and a lot of rejoicing about how much she has grown in one year, Paytes is officially ready for first grade...I cannot say the same for myself, but I have a few months...to prepare and...to well, prepare.

4. Audrey has become a fashion diva (much growth from the days of being a nudist).

This is an entire blog in itself...let me just say that someday her new fashion line of mismatched, worn-for-a-week straight, hanging-off-the shoulder because it is too big or riding- the-waves because they are too short clothing line will make us all very wealthy, partly on account of its originality but mostly on account that the model wearing it could not be more breathtakingly beautiful.

5. Keege is here to stay (did I say top ten exciting things?)

No for reals, I have to say when given the opportunity to give him to a loving home, I totally caved and could not imagine not having the little dude around. This proves a) the bonding that took place before Payton was born was for life (or until I cannot take it anymore and can conjure a great story to put the girls [and myself] at ease), b) I am all talk, c) he is lucky he's cute, and d) I need to stop complaining.

6. Josh and I ran the Bolder Boulder.

I use the term "ran" lightly, at least for me...I believe I walked it almost as fast when I was seven months pregnant with Payton, BUT I did not stop to walk even once...slowing only twice to take a picture with Elvis who was sweating more than I was and to grab a cupcake at mile four which tasted great in theory but was quickly discarded. Nicole, who 'ran' beside me, sweat a little too, despite that the hour-long jaunt was the usual for her daily routine. What was not usual was that we shaved a good two miles off what she usually accomplishes in the same time frame. Unfortunately I cannot say it has spurred me on to a seven-day workout regime...or even a two day one if I am honest. My day of being in the best shape of my life is coming...I just know it.'

7. I do not plan to quit my day job.

For those of you who walk in our new home, you will notice that there are curtains hanging in the windows that I have 'sewn.' I advise you to admire them from a distance and refrain from encouraging me to go into business...I don't have the time...nor the talent frankly. The curtains (well most of them), however, are hanging...at least for now. The ones yet to be done...I make no promises.

8. I found a lamp at a garage sale for $5 that I will be on a high about for the next year...or more. Hopefully the lady who sold it to me never reads this blog because I tell you I would have payed $25-40 for it.

9. I saved the lives of four small pots of flowers destined for the garbage...okay, so I stole them once I heard they were going to be thrown away...but the Lowe's lady said she wasn't looking...and I did offer to pay for them.

10. Josh took a much needed day off, and we all went to the zoo...first time as a fam of five.

I see a pattern here

2008-03-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

Nothing like a relaxing Saturday morning with the fam. Big breakfast, baby actually gets a morning nap in her crib, Audrey washes the dishes for over an hour, peeling off one layer of clothing at a time as it gets drenched to end standing at the sink in the buff, Payton and I play crazy eights...she hurts me when I win...I hurt her when she wins...oh wait, Josh reads the six newspapers that have been collecting on the driveway all week...aahhh.

Peekaboo

2008-03-11T23:22:00.001-07:00

The girls and I spent a great deal of time playing hopscotch on the driveway this afternoon...loved it.

and couldn't get enough of thinking "It's actually kind of hot!"

Anyway, I just couldn't resist...

a closer view...

and another one

Let's Both Just Pretend

2008-03-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

I was going to title the blog "Let's All Just Pretend", but I honestly cannot believe anyone other than you, Mom (love ya), is still checking this blog...

So, let's both pretend this past month-and-a-half has been jam-packed with blogs keeping you updated, humored, and inspired. You pretend to know all the details about the heart-melting things the girls are doing and saying these days (see right), how Keege is doing since he has since moved to La Veta to stay/live forever with my in-laws (Toni, you know sending Keege home would break both your daughter's and your mother's hearts), how the girls are doing since they have all been sick twice at one point or another these past two weeks, how the Spirit has worked in mighty ways in my life as of late (see right), my latest discovery that getting a shot in the eye is less painful than keeping your house clean enough for showings every day (since, as you know, our house is on the market), that house-shopping has been both pointless and discouraging - but really fun, that Josh still needs a lot of prayer in the area of the rest of his life, that I have discovered the wonder of a new line of uniforms...some silk-like Nike pants intended for exercising but really great for every day use (and I mean every day), that I just read an amazing book called "A Thousand Splendid Suns" and my life has changed, and that the weather changing to warmer could not happen soon enough.

and I will pretend that you have read each and every blog this past six weeks and have sweetly left encouraging comments that have given me the strength to carry on...and to keep blogging...

Speaking of Valentines Day

2008-01-30T19:50:00.000-08:00

It's a love/hate relationship. Okay, maybe a like/hate relationship...no probably a tolerate/hate relationship. In any case, it totally bums me out that it has come to this. I remember picking him up at 6-weeks-old...a five pound pitch-black ball of baby-soft hair. Josh and I discussed names for him all the way home from Flagler. Moose and Jake were definitely in the running, but after brainstorming crazy family/friend names we knew and thinking we may at some point want to name a son Jake (ha!), Keege just felt right. He slept with us from night one. At first it was across my neck...then against my chest with his head on the pillow next to me and now on the pillow at my head (not so cute anymore).

We got him seven months before Payton was born. Ahh...the 'glory days.' The days when he could do no wrong, when we would sit and stare at him and giggle at everything he did. The days when we thought his bark was cute...when we would sit for hours and throw the ball down the hall just to see him bounce down to get it. The days when I would cry every time we left him for the night. The days when his cute face graced every picture we took.

Just before Payton was born, I thought to myself, "I hope I love this baby as much as I love my dog!" I should have known the night he peed on the bed next to me after I nursed her that he was not happy with the changes that had been made...and that it was just the beginning of said love/hate relationship.

Here we sit...six years later.

His day begins at the sliding door begging to go out. Once all three girls are dressed and ready to go, and we make it down the stairs for breakfast, he is let out. He patiently waits at the kitchen table for any remaining scraps...most days it is the rest of my milk from my cereal. His favorite day is pancake and eggs day, as the girls do not always finish their plates, and he (if I remember amid the chaos of getting out the door) gets to finish them up. If I don't remember, he reminds me over and over that he knows it's on the table. I either put it on the floor for him to eat because I can no longer take the ever-increasing whine or race out the door and leave him to sit and smell the leftovers all morning.

He spends the rest of the day sleeping on the couch amongst the clean laundry (seriously!) or pillows. If we are home, he is let out when he needs to be (if I notice), and if we are not home, he awaits our arrival on the back of the leather couch in the front window. Once we walk in the door he goes crazy with excitement and runs in circles at my feet until I have brought all three girls and the two loads of stuff in the house from the van. Some days I notice his excitement and reach down to ruffle his hair. Other days his excitement wanes far before I notice he's there. Much different than the days when I would sit on the couch and greet him with five minutes of petting and playing.

His barking is my biggest pet peeve (no pun intended). Unfortunately he has ample opportunity to bark, as we side to a street and happen to have traffic next to the house at the mail box and school kids walking to and from the school bus each day. It takes everything in me not to kick him right out the door when he starts his vocal tirade. I suppose I should be thankful he is 'protecting' us, but at this point, I would rather deal with an intruder than put up with the noise. And then there are the times he wakes the kids up from a nap...

If I had a quarter for each of the piles of puke, poop, and pee I have had to scoop up, clean up, spot shot, suck up in the green machine, and look at since they won't come up, I would be able to put him up at doggy daycare for the rest of his life and keep some sanity.

It would help if he was interested in getting attention from and playing with the girls. But unless they have food, he has absolutely nothing to do with them. Ironically, he is a 'mama's boy' through and through. As soon as I sit down after putting the girls down, he is on my lap nudging my hand with his head to be pet. His persistence in this is cute at times (believe it or not) and other times maddening and unignorable (I know this isn't a real word). Also ironically, 'Keege' has been the third word for each of my girls to say behind 'mommy' and 'daddy.' Reese at 9 months says 'Keege' clear as day, and is his new best friend, as she has realized that if she gives him her puffs, he stays right next to her chair.

Nine days out of ten I am determined to find him a good, loving home. Yet then there is the day we cannot find him anywhere, and my heart sinks to the floor, and there is a pit in my stomach, and I realize if I had the time and the energy, I would probably still sit and ogle him all day and revel in cuddling with him at night. Happy 6th birthday, Keege. You're lucky you have made it this long...you poor pup.

'drippy' eyes

2008-01-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

Sweet Paytes. I noticed An American Tail was on HBO this afternoon, so I recorded it for the girls thinking, "I loved American Tail!" (when I was 10...a minor detail I hadn't considered) Who doesn't know the words to the song, "Somewhere Out There?" beneath the pale moon light. Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight...I digress.

Okay...what made me forget that the poor little mouse was separated from his family the entire movie? More importantly, what made me think the girls at this age would enjoy watching that?!? Mid-way through the movie I had to start dinner, so I lost track of what was happening.

Several minutes later, I happened to look over and see Payton standing next to the fireplace rubbing her eyes with her fists. "Why are my eyes so drippy today?" she said. My heart nearly broke when I realized what was happening. She was watching the very end of the movie when Fievel lies down to sleep so heartsick from not being able to find his family. It was more than Paytes could take. I said, "Paytes, are you crying?" She ran towards me sobbing. I picked her up, held her, and turned up the volume to see the family reunite. Praise God for happy endings! (shame on the writers of Bambi)

Seriously, who makes these movies? It makes little kids' eyes 'drippy'...and their mommy's too for that matter.

Hi. My name is Karen, and I am addicted to Guitar Hero.

2008-01-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

I love the Wii...have loved it from the get go.

love bowling, swimming, jumping on the trampoline, dream racing, jumping hurdles, cross-country skiing, playing tennis, target-shooting, cow racing, and so on, and so on.

Guitar Hero, however, takes me to an entirely different wii-loving level. To this point, I have been able to stop playing the wii in order to get a good night's sleep.

My days of restedness have come to an end I am afraid. I. literally. can't. stop.

Call any time between the hours of 7:45pm when the girls go down and 12am, and you will hear the music rocking out and the sound of a guitar strumming in the background.

It's in my blood. Someone please take away my guitar...or bury me with it...

Are they supposed to change this much in a year?

2008-01-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

somehow I feel as though I know them better

2008-01-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, Josh's Grandma (w/ much help from Landei) gave each of the grandkids a Shutterfly photo album of pictures of her and their grandpa throughout their lives. It is quite a gift.

This seems somewhat revolutionary to me...as to this point, it seems that pictures of our parents, grandparents, and farther back are usually spread out amongst their kids and in boxes or several different scrapbooks. To have all of these pictures in one place and easily accessible for everyone is amazing.

While going through the book one night, I remembered that I had been given a couple of cds of pictures of my dad's family several months ago (thanks, Heather!) that I had not sat down and looked through. So...I pulled the cds out and looked through them. There were so many pictures I had never seen...some of my grandparents dating, ones of my dad as a baby, etc. There is something pretty emotional about this for me...confirmation that although I am relentless about taking pictures of my family, someone will thank me some day.

My grandparents passed away when I was seven, so though I have a few memories of them, I for sure did not know them well. After looking at these pictures, I feel as though I know my grandpa and grandma a little better...they were once in love, had personalities, were parents of five small children, etc. Things I obviously knew about them but really didn't get until I saw these pictures.

Anyway, I thought I would share a few of my favorites.

my grandpa driving a cookie truck (my kinda guy!)

my grandparents dating

still dating

their wedding picture

my grandma and her five kids...my dad is the baby on the far left
(now we know where Reese got her thighs!)

the rest are of my dad...love 'em!!!

word play

2008-01-06T14:44:00.000-08:00

On Sunday when we got home from church, I told Payton and Audrey they could each have a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.

Audrey's affection for Reese has dramatically increased now that she has become aware that Reese somehow has a stash of peanut butter cups.

Audrey: Mommy, may I please have another one of Reese's peanut butter cups?
Me: no
Audrey: Can she have one of her cups?

I will take two cheeks, both thighs, and oh yes, a tooth to go with them

2008-01-05T20:50:00.000-08:00

Before I get to the climax of this post, I feel as though I need to lay some groundwork...

For those of you with two or more kids, know that I know that what I am about to say is not revolutionary to you...even still, I must say it...

It is mind boggling to me that you can love each of your children with the same intensity, especially considering how each are so different. The things that I adore about Payton are, for the most part, very different than what I adore about Audrey and different still than what I am crazy about Reese. I say this only to qualify that while I rant and rave about one child it by no means diminishes where I am at with the other two. I could blog for days on end and still not capture the extent of love I have for all three of my girls...parents, you know what I am talking about.

Having said that, I am now going to rant and rave about my youngest.

I will start by saying that there are not words to express the depth of the love affair I am in with this child. From day one, loving her completely and breathlessly has been as easy and satiating as sinking my teeth into a warm brownie with raspberry sauce drizzled on top. For those who know me, that says it all...

"Absolute joy" are the only words to describe her...from her contentedness, to her face-consuming jowls, and back again to her knee dimples and burly thighs, the way she wrinkles up her nose and snorts, growls and grumbles with each bite of food, and how she pulls down her bumper pad to see who is coming in to her room in the morning and greets them with squeals and total body excitement...again, there really are no words...

I also need to qualify that while there is a perception out there that the third child gets much less attention and one-on-one time, I feel as though I have overcompensated with face time with Reese because I am well aware now that I will blink and this will all be over.

All that to say, the truth in this perception hit me full in the face a few days ago. My in-laws were in town after Christmas, and my beloved sister-in-law Shea went right to spending time with the girls and cuddling/feeding/holding/playing with Reesie Piece. She casually mentioned to Toni, my mother-in-law, that Reese had a tooth...at which point Toni argued with her...because it was news to her. "Mom," Shea said, "she has been chewing on my finger with it all day...I know a tooth when I see one."

So Toni says to me...awhile later..."So Reese has a tooth." At which point I argue with her...because. this. is. news. to. me. Wait...WHAT!?! How is this possible?

And yet it is...my sweet baby girl gets her first tooth, and I was not the first to know!

Aside from the hilarity of it (Shea and Toni and I still laugh out loud about it) here I sit at yet one more milestone with tears in my eyes and a heart threatening to explode with deep, wrenching sadness that tomorrow I will wake up and she will no longer be this baby...and even knowing the joy that comes with her growing into a toddler and then a kindergartner, I cannot help but cry...

When Payton got her first tooth, I was elated and relieved (she was 14 months old) - called everyone in the fam, etc. When Audrey got her first tooth at six months, I was shocked and excited, called everyone in the fam, etc. When Reese got her first tooth, I wasn't the first to know, and though I am excited, it is another reminder that these precious "firsts" are almost over. I don't think I will call everyone this time...it's embarrassing for one :), and I really just need to soak it all in myself...

thus the blog.

A Dollar!

2007-12-22T20:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight marked our second annual trip to the Dollar Tree with Payton and Audrey. Each girl was to buy one thing for each person we are spending Christmas with on Tuesday...which meant they each had $10 to spend.

I was once again blown away by the stuff you can buy for a buck...Honestly, I could have made my list straight from the shelves of this fine establishment.

I was also again amazed by how well each (well most) of the gifts fit the person.

Bill and Tarrah call Teagan 'monk', so for her we found a divided monkey plate.

Payton bought Reese a bib that says, "I love my big sister." Cute...I wish I could have found a shirt for Josh that says, "My wife is hot!"...maybe Family Dollar has one...

and I am convinced my mom will like Payton's sudoku book and Audrey's coffee mug far more than our far more expensive gifts.

We had a great time shopping...Audrey said it was an 11 out of 10 (10 being the best), and Payton said the experience was by far the best shopping trip she has ever had, calling it a 100. That much joy for $20...beautiful.

The conversations were probably the most enjoyable for me...

Me: Audrey, when we give someone a gift, we think about what she would want...not what you want.
Audrey: I want the princess one.

Me: Payton, tonight we are shopping for others. Please put the night light back.
Payton: Don't you need to get me something?

Me: I think Daddy would rather have spearmint gum than Bubble Yum.
Payton: I know he will give me some, so I would rather have Bubble Yum.

Audrey: Payton, look at these pencils I'm buying for you!

Payton: Can I get this for Daddy?
Me: I am not sure what Daddy is going to do with that.
Payton: Who cares. I think it's cool.

Me: Audrey, are you sure you want to buy that for Bill?
Audrey: Yes!!!
Me: okay...

Like I said, it's amazing how well the gifts fit the person!

Survival of the Fittest

2007-12-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

I figure we could live for close to a week should we get stranded in the middle of nowhere.

I am quite confident we would have enough food...half a bag of pretzels under the passenger seat, a sandwich bag of gold fish scattered and crushed on the floor in the back seat, a couple of half full jars of baby food in the diaper bag, french fries in the crevices of the seats, and a power bar in the middle console. Drinks would not be a problem either...we could lick the orange juice out of the cup holder next to Audrey's seat, scoop the hot chocolate off the floor board, drink the milk from the red sippy cup we lost weeks ago, or settle on the leftovers from one of three bottles of milk that roll from the front of the van to the back and then forward again at every stop light.

We would have company...Payton and Audrey's babies have taken up residence and have found their new digs to be quite cozy. If the three blankets they are each wrapped in isn't enough, the full length fleece blanket used to cover the girls while looking at Christmas lights last Sunday night would work. Or, they could just put on one of the three coats and two sweaters on the floor. And if all else fails, the two blankets that reside in Reese's car seat would be toasty cozy.

We would certainly have enough kindling for a fire...receipts from the past three months stuffed in the middle console, wedged in between the seats, and glued to the front cup holders would work quite nice...or we could use the three empty water bottles, two empty Starbucks cups, the wadded up kleenex from back to back cold viruses, or the stack of school papers taken from Payton's folder every morning before she goes into school.

There would be plenty of entertainment, as Christmas gifts purchased a month ago are still in the trunk. We would just have to be careful pulling them out, as the stroller is balancing vicariously on said gifts.

And if all else fails, we could easily pack up all of the above items, put them in the four purses and two backpacks gracing the back seats, and head out for help. Unfortunately, the two things we might need...my wallet and cell phone will likely be on the kitchen counter or impossible to recover.

And Josh wonders why I never clean the van out. This is life or death people...

the dreaded Christmas card picture

2007-12-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

The problem, you see, is that I have these images in my head of my three chickies cozied up in front of the Christmas tree, outfits coordinating perfectly, hair lying smoothly, with radiant smiles on their beautiful faces. I then take this picture of perfection and place it on a hand-crafted card...deep red card stock, brown grosgrain ribbon, cute lettering wishing all a Merry Christmas with love from the Brgoch family. Mind you...all still in my head.

and then...I COME CRASHING DOWN TO EARTH. It doesn't take long. About the time Audrey steps into her stockings and screams, "I hate tights," and "This turtleneck is too tight!" and starts to cry (red eyes,splotchy face...fabulous), Reese begins the tale spin into nap-readiness, arched back and definitely no smile, and Payton grows increasingly more annoyed and wonders why it takes so long to get a picture when she could have smiled beautifully for the first one and been done.

I am not kidding people...four hours, buckets of blood, sweat, and tears, and the life sucked right out of me and we still did not come up with a gem...again, though, I am comparing them (the pictures) with the fantasy in my head.

I take hope in this...that these pictures will be just like pictures of the kids and/or our family that have been taken in past years that I hated in the moment and now look at and think, "Ah...look at this sweet picture." Most likely because I have not retained the fantasy image and can bask in the beauty of times gone by...

Bask in these for now...

Payton: "Here Audrey, let's take a picture looking at each other."

Payton: "Okay, now Audrey, you look at me and I will look at the camera."

no smile...but stinking cute

my thoughts exactly, Pates

of course

of course again.

Wii Got One!

2007-12-04T12:50:00.000-08:00

I remember my mom standing in line for hours one Christmas when I was young to purchase a Cabbage Patch Kid for Bill and me (before you freak out because I am telling your secret, Bill, his was a boy with a football uniform...I think he played with it once). I also remember the Tickle Me Elmo craze and massive amounts of people who wanted some talking bear...what was it called? Anyway, if you haven't already figured it out, it seems this year's Christmas craze is the Wii.

Wii have been trying for wiiks to find a Wii for Josh's birthday(September)...long story short...he initially wanted a bike, his parents said they would help him buy one, changed his mind, decided he wanted a Wii, parents said they would help him buy one, could not find a Wii.

Several times in the past couple weeks, wii have been a little too late. Wii have missed shipments by minutes, stood in line (Josh's mom) for a promised shipment to find out they were already sold hours previous (false advertising on Circuit City's part thank you very much), and made numerous phone calls to every GameStop in the area between the hours of 12pm and 2pm nearly every day, even trying distant places (Glenwood Springs and Rifle) for the love.

Yesterday afternoon, I remembered (a little late) to make the usual calls to each Game Stop in the 25-mile radius. The first three phone calls informed me that I was about an hour too late and all had been sold within minutes of their arrival on the trucks. The fourth store I called, however, told me they had one. After hyperventilating, I breathlessly asked if they could hold it for five minutes until I got there. They said, "No." Heart pounding, sweat at the brow, I pulled Reese out of a deep sleep and dragged all the girls half naked and with no shoes into the van, drove to the store like a bat out of hell, and turned sharply into the one remaining parking space in front of the store...ripped open the door and anxiously asked if the Wii was still there. It was!!! The lady told me a guy had purchased it that morning to sell on Craig's List, felt too guilty about doing it, and brought it back to the store a few hours later. She also told me three other people had called and said they were on their way to buy the one I got. I wasted no time leaving the store, as I was unprepared for any kind of confrontation.

The most hysterical part of the story...today I was talking to Landei and told her we got a Wii. When I told her where we got it, she said, "You're kidding!!! I was on my way to buy that Wii at that store. When I got there, they told me it was gone, and I told them I would have been there sooner had I not had to pack my three kids into the car to come." They told her, "That's funny. The lady who bought it just minutes ago dragged her three kids with her!"

Anyway, wii are SO EXCITED!!! Let the games begin...

Things I am Learning...

2007-11-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."^[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:31-37

Experiencing victory over a sin or an issue in my life most likely will not mean that the tendency towards the sin or the issue itself will go away. Victory, instead, may mean that I go to the One who can overcome first and sometimes even in preparation for and thereby handle the situation differently by way of the strength, compassion, grace, or courage that only He can give... Why would I not naturally assume that God desires that I be "more than a conqueror" and offers what it will take will I only turn to Him?

All In a Days Work

2007-11-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

7:15ish - wake up and crawl in bed with Mommy to cuddle...as close as possible...feet wedged underneath Mommy to get warm...'little blankie' tucked between us and close to my mouth should I want to suck and/or chew on the tassels

or

get in the crib with Reese if she is awake and attempt to steal a few moments with her all to myself

7:30ish - still waking up...a slow process often accompanied by a furrowed brow and grunts when spoken to (my Mommy is nothing like this)

7:32ish - the war begins over which clothes I will wear today...

my choice - stained brown gauchos, short-sleeve brown shirt with flowers and a tie in back that I will adamantly refuse to tie...but that comes later...or my floor length brown skirt with gold sequins and any shirt of Payton's - preferably something dirty that she has worn herself several times in the past week...third choice, hot pink Dora shirt that hangs just right off my left shoulder and brown peasant skirt (sz 18mths) - straight out of the summer clothes bag Mommy has yet to put in storage...Hey - at least I am wearing clothes now...last year, that was just too much to ask.

Mommy's choice - for sure NOTHING I am remotely interested in...even when given choices (Love and Logic shmogic)

7:40ish - time to do my hair...Mommy struggles a bit brushing it and curling it while I am laying on her lap, but she has somehow figured out how to do it...

"I want it down," I say...no pig tails which everyone except me thinks is adorable...no barrette...I actually find it convenient and mildly entertaining to use my hair as a paper towel...just the other day I put a sucker in it. I guess I thought I could leave it there until I was ready for it again. I was furious when Mommy put it in the trash covered with a large glob of my hair...I still would have eaten it.

7:42ish - ask for snack or candy (I figure if I ask for a snack or candy at least 50 times today, I will get one once or twice, and if I start asking this early in the morning, my chances increase even more)

7:45ish - time for breakfast - Lucky Charms hands down...and toast...with butter...except I don't actually like it in the toaster

8ish - time for school (on Tuesdays or Thursdays)...hopefully it is my turn to sit in the middle of the van. If not, scream loudly and cry, stiffen body and thrash around...and refuse to move out of the middle seat. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't...but it's worth a shot...especially if we are running late and Mommy doesn't have time to go to bats

8:20ish - refuse to wear coat, unless the single digit winds take my breath away when I get out of the van, take Mommy's hand as we walk in, hug Payton before she goes into her classroom and stare up at her with adoring eyes and a comforting smile (sometimes she struggles). Walk into my class holding Mommy's hand, put my stuff away, find my favorite station (usually play dough), give Mommy a kiss, and sit down contentedly (if you know my big sister, this is a big deal).

11:30ish - grin broadly, stick my tongue out and down my chin, and jump up to run and greet Mommy, Payton, and Reese when they arrive at my classroom

11:35ish - return to van holding Mommy's hand and ask for candy.

Tell Mommy I love her at some point in the conversation on the way home. I say "I love you" often and at random times, because I just can't help myself.

giggle (mostly at something Payton says or does)

11:45ish - return home and ask for a snack

12ish - ask for snack but settle for lunch - hopefully something from the five food groups (chicken nuggets, ranch dressing, Parmesan cheese with a little noodles, most fruits, and SUGAR)

12:30-6ish -

play with Payton - hug her often and at random times because I love her so much, scream and cry when things aren't going well (somehow words don't quite encapsulate the depth of my emotion), and drag my grocery bag of random items...and four blankets...and three babies around the house with me (I think Mommy has figured out that should something be missing...say the phone, her favorite earrings, the remote, or Daddy's razor, they are probably in my bag)

giggle often and uncontrollably

watch Dora (sing, dance, do all the motions, and yell out whatever Spanish word it is she asks me to at the top of my lungs and with my usual drawl) or Scooby Doo reruns (I especially love the scary ones)

ask for snack/candy at least every fifteen minutes (Mommy says snack time is at 3:00...does she know I have no concept of time and can't read a clock?)

play Dora on the computer. I just figured out how to use the mouse...for the most part...who cares if I right click at least once every few minutes and need help? Did you know Dora actually talks to you? The other day Mommy had to do something on the computer, so she opened another window, and while I was waiting to play again on her lap, I heard Dora ask me to put her matching shoes on her. I told her, "Just a minute, Dora, Mommy has to do something."

change clothes at least three times (usually the three aforementioned outfits)

do everything in my three-year-old power to make Reese laugh at me (usually involving growling, panting, and waving my arms around wildly)

6ish - run into Daddy's arms when he walks in the door...He's the best

6:30ish - dinner time...here we go again (who made the rule that one cannot snack when one wants to and ignore a square meal altogether?)

7ish - put on my brown skirt and my two-sizes-too-small Easter sandals to dance around the living room with Payton while Mommy and Daddy watch Dancing with the Stars

7:30ish - ask for snack

7:45ish - put on a pair of Payton's pajamas (the length of her pants is a minor problem...but nothing six rolls and pulling them up once a minute can't fix), brush my teeth, read a book with Mommy and Payton (or rather make animal noises and squirm around while they read), pray to Jesus (maybe He will give me a snack?), and give kisses and hugs all around (I am an affectionate little bugger)

8ish - fall right to sleep if I have not had a nap...

if I have...change that to 8-10:30ish during which time I will empty Payton's room of all of her favorite items once she has fallen asleep, clean the bathroom mirror with my wet, electric toothbrush, bring all 257 books from the book shelf onto my bed, clean my room with all 112 wipes from Reese's room, sing songs and read books loudly, and eventually burrow myself under the covers so that all that shows is the top of my sweet little head and all that is heard is the soft snoring of one exceptionally precious little Gigi...

Family Vacation (is there such a thing?)

2007-11-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

We recently had the pleasure of traveling to California with Matt and Kristin Wooley and their girls for a week. We had an amazing opportunity to stay in a beach house ON Sunset beach, and we spent two fun-filled days at Disneyland with the girls. It was the girls' first time on an airplane, at the beach, and in an amusement park. We had a GREAT time and hope to go back next year, but traveling with three small children is not necessarily easy and is certainly not relaxing. :) Below are some lessons learned...

The Dos and Don'ts of traveling to California and Disneyland with three small children and the Wooleys

Do stuff your pockets with dollar bills for the poor suckers who have to help you cart your 10 pieces of luggage on and off the shuttles at the airport.

Do pack three to four outfits per child per day…they just might “fall” in the surf, poop all the way out the diaper and into the belly button, puke, or spill every glass of chocolate milk, dip cup of Ranch, and ice cream sandwich given to them.

Do rent an SUV if you usually drive a van…you will enjoy the experience but end the week GRATEFUL for your van (for those of you with three children in the back of an SUV with all access to each other, you know what I am talking about).

Do take every opportunity to run through the sand, stand in the surf, and play on the beach...even if it is 60 degrees out of the water and about 30 degrees in it.

Don’t throw away your first batch of homemade chocolate chip cookie dough because it tastes funny…who knew the directions for altitude really do matter?

Do buy the entire Frizz Ease line of hair products prior to leaving…if you don’t usually have frizzy hair, trust me, you will there.

Do wear your baby in the Bjorn around for the week prior to leaving…otherwise just know that at some point your shoulders, neck, and lower back will go numb

Don’t feed your child a pound of candy (fall festival), put them on a plane for four-and-a-half hours, and then take them to Disneyland in a two-day span…unless of course you have no problem with profuse amounts of puke.

Do pack a bottle of Maalox if you are traveling with said child who had a pound of candy, was on the plane, and went to Disneyland in a two day span if you do have problems with said puke.

Do go to Disneyland this time of year. The weather was perfect, the crowds were sparse, and the lines for the rides were 15-40 minutes max. Why anyone would wait in line with their toddlers longer than 40 minutes to ride a 3 minute ride is beyond me.

Do catch the fire works display at Disneyland…it is HIGHLY entertaining (for those of you who talk with Audrey who was sleeping during the show…there was no such fire works display.)

Do wait in the hour-long line to see your children’s favorite Disney characters…the way their eyes light up when the princess or character speaks to them is WELL worth the wait.

Do have Matt tell you his “egg” story sometime.

Don’t follow Matt in the city…or anywhere for that matter unless you are a professional driver accustomed to random exiting off of freeways across three lanes, switching lanes or taking turns without signals, and changes in speed ranging from 25-90 mph.

Do check out the IKEA if you have a several hours to spare. The stuff and the deals are AMAZING…Don’t take your small children.

Don't take for granted the help and encouragement of friends like Matt, Kristin, Aidyn, and Alyssa... their help with luggage, getting to and from places, holding and playing with Reese, guiding us through Disneyland, and clapping whilst we were cleaning up puke, changing diapers in the back of the car, and getting in and out of the car (which was always a five to ten minute ordeal) was invaluable!!!

Where Is the Little Girl?

2007-11-19T08:17:00.000-08:00

I cried all the way home today...

This morning when we took Payton to school, I asked her if she was ready to be "dropped off." "Sure, Mommy," she said. So, I pulled into the drop off line of cars and began walking through with her what she would do when she got out of the van. Half way through my spiel, she said, "Mom, I know what to do." Now, I was fully prepared for her to back out at the last second, as she has done several times before, when we have veered out of the drop off line, parked, and walked in together. Today, she was ready. We pulled up, she grabbed her stuff, and got out of the van. I kissed her, told her to have a great day, and then got back in the van. I then watched her walk across the parking lot and through the doors of the school before the tears began falling... yet another step in this journey where I am again amazed by the power of conflicting emotion...elation, pride, and deep sadness...

There was a day last spring that I arrived at the preschool early to pick up Payton. When I got to her classroom, the kids were gone, and I could see through the window that they were on the playground. A perfect opportunity I thought to see her "at play" without her knowing I was watching. I first looked for her two teachers, as I knew I was most likely going to find Payton standing close to them as she had a habit of doing. I easily found her teachers, but Payton was not near them. My heart skipped a beat, as I thought, "She must be playing with the other kids...hallelujah!" I quickly scanned the play equipment letting my eyes rest on each group of children who were playing together, hoping I would see her sweet face aglow with the delight of imaginary play and time with friends.

Still not able to find her, my eyes eventually shifted to a little girl in a soft green coat walking aimlessly alone through the rocks with her head down, eyes averted. My sweet Payton. It was everything I could do to swallow the lump forming in my throat. "Lord, I thought we were making progress...She has been saying that she plays with Grace and Makayla every day. Is she telling me that because she knows that is what I hope she will say? Is she destined to spend her school years like this? alone...and by choice?" Where is the little girl...who has boundless energy, a quick smile, infectious laughter, and a passion for play at home?"

The first day of kindergarten this fall loomed with huge question marks for us. We were confident that she had grown tremendously last year, but we also knew we had a lot of ground to cover for her to function normally in this setting. The first couple of weeks were tough, accompanied with tears, arm clutching, and the usual "stay close to the teacher's side." Yet, there was progress. At first, she was weepy all morning. Then, she would cry initially but recover and be fine the rest of the time. In the third week of school, she didn't cry at all. She did her ritual round of hugs (me, Audrey, Reese) and sat down in the circle without a single tear. Her teacher told us at some point that week that she was starting to play with the other kids at recess. A few weeks later, she was playing games in PE and singing songs in music. I realize these are all very normal things for kids to be doing at this point, but you have no idea how HUGE this is for Payton.

Where is the little girl...who walked sullenly on the playground that morning last spring? She is a kindergartner, a friend who plays with all of the kids in her class at recess, a student who raises her hand to answer questions and is starting to read everything she sees, a musician who sings loudly and beautifully in music, an athlete who plays games of tag in PE, and...

today she is the girl who got out of the van and walked into the school by herself.

Alright Already

2007-11-16T12:00:00.000-08:00

So apparently, people are blogging. In fact, brace yourselves...a lot of people are blogging.

I remember the day I received the first e-mail notice of one of my friend's new blog. There it was... my first glance at a personal blog...cute pictures, humorous quips and quotes, sentimental recountings of family life...how sweet. Nauseated by the taste of yet another dose of "mom-guilt," I quickly wrote it off..."Who has the time for that?" and "Good thing most of our relatives are in-state and don't need to be kept updated." And then I got another notice of another friend's new blog...and on her blog was a list of other blogs of other friends...and it goes on from there. It's insane really.

Now, I will admit I am a bit behind...in a number of areas. I have been informed that my phrases "Doggonit" and "Blast it" are grandpa language. My bathroom drawer still sports a hair pick (three actually in an assortment of colors), and I noticed just the other day when I came upon an engagement picture of ours, that my current hair style is pretty much the same as the one in the picture...from eight years ago. Fabulous.

The problem with this, see, is that now that I have decided to blog, there doesn't seem to be anything original about it. I am the blogging poster child for jumping on the bandwagon. So then, you ask, why am I doing it?

Because for the past three months, I feel more connected to my friends who blog and their families than I ever have...and I talk to some of these people at least once a day. I have cried, laughed, and even snorted at the brilliance, humor, and sentiment of their posts. I, along with hundreds of other people, have been given a window into their lives...their joys, challenges, frustrations, memorable experiences, and even recipe books (thank you). Their families, in particular their parents, are experiencing their grandchildren's lives miles and miles away. There is something so emotional about that for me that I am not able to even put it into words. And...these people...these crazy bloggers will be able to look back at their posts days, weeks, and years from now (granting the world wide web sustains its existence) and re-experience their family's lives. This is revolutionary!

Finally, I have been inspired and filled with pride by the eloquence, wit, and authenticity that is displayed by my fellow stay-at-home moms' blogs. It feels as though we at last have a voice! a chance to tell the world (or each other) that we really are intelligent women with deep thoughts, a great sense of humor, an inquisitive mind, and an abiding love for God and our families. We no longer have to aspire to write books or be Parenting magazine's newest editor. We can blog!

Just so you know, I have been working on my "blog" for weeks now. I have racked my brain for some originality in appearance as well as content. I have spent a full day searching the web for the perfect "header" graphic (still am not satisfied), have written and rewritten several posts in my head and on paper, have thought to myself on numerous occasions, "I hope my kids say something cute or funny today that I can post," and am still struggling with the right words to accurately encapsulate myself in my profile. Thanks be to God, I am on the right track, however, as I have realized (I told you I was slow) that the originality in blogging comes not from the appearance of the blog or even the topic that is written about but rather from the content that is written, as every family's experience is different. It's not rocket science, I know, but when I fully realized that people will read my blog not to see what it looks like or to delight in the brilliance of my writing but rather to connect with us, I was convinced.

It is now mid-afternoon. I began this post sometime this morning. Over the past six hours, I have taken Payton to and from school, played play-dough with Audrey, fed Reese twice, changed the laundry and answered the phone I've lost count how many times, made and eaten lunch, done the dishes and swept, saved Reese from choking on a sticker she found on the carpet, broken up three fights between my two oldest sweets, let the dog out and back in, and pumped while working on this post. Again, how does anyone have time for this? This may be the only post I ever write...and alas, it is about blogging itself and not at all about my sweet family...

Already Worth It

2007-11-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

I received this instant message from Josh moments after I sent the e-mail out with the blog address...

JOSH says:
you're a freak
KAREN says:
why?
JOSH says:
Now I know where your day went today...
JOSH says:
blogging
Karen says:
some of it
JOSH says:
couple questions
Karen says:
yes?
JOSH says:
why did you call the blog "blogoch"
JOSH says:
creative, but will anyone remember?
Karen says:
it's actually sweet pandemonium
Karen says:
but that was taken for the address
JOSH says:
secondly, your hair does not look like it did in high school
JOSH says:
or engagement pictures
Karen says:
thanks babe
Karen says:
but it is frighteningly close
JOSH says:
thirdly the answer to your question about the sink storage is rhetorical
Karen says:
ha!
JOSH says:
fourthly the empty cd cases go in the trash
Karen says:
I was hoping someone would answer my questions...
Karen says:
our conversation has already made blogging worth it
JOSH says:
I thought the same
Karen says:
i haven't laughed harder in days
JOSH says:
fifthly what about my bum?